Best Friend???????

I really miss having a best friend that lives in the same city as I do.  I LOVE my sweet Rob and he is my BESTest friend, but I mean a girlfriend.  I miss being able to talk about girl stuff and doing things together.  A lunch now and then or going to a movie.  Having someone to call about stupid stuff that makes you giggle and think about things.  A girlfriend who has your back when you need them or who will say "hey, do you want some help?".  I definitely don't have that where I live now, and I really miss it TONS.  I knew I missed it some and it wasn't all that bad till yesterday and today and now it is harder.  People who are from California get upset with me when they ask how I like it here and I am not all that excited about.  Of course these are people who have family here, have those best friends here and have lived here most if not all their lives.  I have been trying really hard to like CA.   Every time I start to have a negative thought about it I quickly try to find positive things about it.  Today that is not going to work.  Why am I living here?  The only reason is because my Sweet Rob is here and this is where his job is.  I feel so out of place here, I just don't fit in.  I tried for a little while to fit in and do and say things like others just so I would be accepted, that didn't work.  You have to be yourself, and so I am and that doesn't work either.  I know it takes a little while, but come on three years!  Maybe I am a terrible person, maybe no one really wants to get to know me, maybe I am to intimidating.....NAHHH I know those aren't it.

There is a lot of things that Rob and I have to do to the house to get things ready for kids to come into our Home and I wish I had that friend that would say "hey, you want some help?", but I don't.  Am I feeling sorry for myself, yeah maybe I am a little bit, but I have been here for almost three years and have yet to hear those words.  I miss the southern hospitality that is infectious.  I know that when you do service for others you can lose yourself, that is partly why I am always letting others know if they need anything give me a call I would love to help if I can, a couple people did ask for help.  But out here it doesn't work that way.  It's really actually kind of sad.  When my Sister Becca was alive we were always doing things and always helping other people.  It was AWESOME, now that she has gone I have been trying to keep that up.  I married a GREAT man who has the same philosophy of always helping others.  We would give the shirt off our backs to others without question.  I miss that.

Why does any of this matter?  because this is a Journal and life is not always Perfect and full of laughs, and the last two days have been crappy.