My Shadow

Everyone has a Shadow, But I know the name of mine. Her name is Becca. Five years ago today was a Sunday. It was the day my Shadow went Home. For the past five years I have struggled because I never got the chance to say goodbye. She went into a Coma just a few days before and everytime I left the house I told her goodbye knowing I would see her later that day. On this Sunday my Grandfather Kline and I went to Church and in the middle of Sacrament meeting they came and got us to let us know she had gone Home. I knew that she was going Home that day, but didn't want to fully accept it. It was the first time I left the house in almost two years that I didn't say Goodbye when I left the house. I have had some say that it happened that way because it wasn't really goodbye. I KNOW where is, I KNOW what she is doing, and I KNOW I will see her again. Yet my heart aches everyday that I can't call her and hear her voice or laugh at the funny things we did together. Yet I know she is around, I know she visits me when I need to know it's ok.

I have no doubt that she had a hand in helping me find my Best friend, my husband, my True Love. She was there when we were Sealed in the Temple. I could hear her say "That's one FINE looking speciman" Of course she was right.

Not many know why Becca was called my shadow. She followed me everywhere. It started when I was in kindergarten and she would follow me in her pajamas and bunny slippers. Our mother would get a call asking if she was missing a child. But Becca was never missing, she always knew where she was. No one was a stranger, and everyone was someone that she could teach the Gospel to. Our Grandmother called us her little Missionaries. As we got older our bond got stronger. Everytime I moved she was not far behind, and she would be my room mate in no time. Moving to CA has been hard because of the culture shock, but it has been harder because it is the first time that I have moved and she wasn't going to be following.

Becca went Home five years ago today after a very hard battle with a gleoblastoma mutiform 4. the worst kind of brain tumor there is. Yet she never let others know of how hard it was or how much it hurt. When friends would come by to say hello she always had a smile and would ask if there was anything she could get for them. I would sit back and laugh because she couldn't get out of bed to get anyone anything. She had the strength unknown to many and the love that was felt by all.

It's funny how small things are the things we keep with us. Becca was almost 6'2". Ever since she was 2 years old she was taller than me. She was always looking down at me. I always joked she might have been taller, but I was still the oldest. Now I see why she had to be taller than me. So I could get use to the idea of her looking down on me after she went Home.

I am so grateful that I know the true Gospel. That I KNOW the blessings of our Heavenly Father. For the Knowledge of an Eternal Family. For the Blessing of the Love of my Family. For the Knowledge that my Redemeer Lives. For MY Sweet Shadow Becca Kay.

I miss you Beeca Kay more than I thought I could ever miss anyone and I wait to laugh with you again.